This wasn’t on my 2024 Bingo Card…
and other news
I’m going back to grad school this fall! Surprised? Me, too.
For a few years, I’ve flirted with the idea of pursuing one degree or another: an MFA in creative writing, maybe a PhD in literature, or even an MA in theology. I just love to be in school. For better or worse, the clear expectations and external validation are powerful motivators for me. I also thrive most when I’m engaging deeply with new and interesting information on a regular basis and getting to talk through it with other people. Which is pretty much all school is.
All of those dreams felt hazy and distant, though, largely because I couldn’t let myself get too carried away. Our life and finances didn’t really align with me going back to school. Until now.
My husband Ben is beginning the path to becoming a pastor this fall, and part of his journey is attending the seminary affiliated with our church for his MDiv. And spouses of current students at the seminary can take classes for free.
After some hemming and hawing (ie, wrestling through internal mom-shame for even considering it), I realized that this is something I really want and that the opportunity is simply too good to pass up without at least trying. So, I applied to the Master of Arts in Ministry program (counseling track), and I’ve been accepted for the fall term!
“But what about writing? Are you giving up?” you may be asking.
The short answer: no. The long answer: nooooooooooooooooooooooo. ;)
Ok, real answer: yes, grad school will inherently change how I fit writing into my life. There’s no getting around that. But this opportunity is temporary; writing isn’t.
And I’ll still be writing. My classes will of course have writing elements, but even beyond that, I can’t stop writing now that I’ve started. The beauty of writing is that it can be whatever I need it to be right now. It doesn’t have to look the same way for every season of my life for it to be valid.
I’ve written before about the unhealthy expectations I set for myself when I began to dip my toes into the waters of being a Real Writer a few years ago and my feelings of inadequacy when I compared my own writing life with other writers (mostly famous, full-time writers—not my peers). Worse, every time I reached a milestone (first finished novel draft, first query sent, first piece accepted by a journal), instead of celebrating the progress, I moved the goalpost. Finished the draft? You’ll count as a writer when you have two. Sent a query? Talk to me when you have an agent. Accepted in a magazine? That’s a tiny journal that probably accepts everyone—Paris Review or bust!
How draining and demoralizing.
Unlearning those automatic internal narratives has been a long, exhausting process. And it’s not finished. I’ve gotten better at catching those lies earlier when they pop up, but somewhere deep down, I still believe them sometimes. The truth is so much simpler, though. Those external goals can be good, but the true mark of a writer is (drumroll, please) words on a page. I am a writer because I write.
All of that said, I do know that I’ll have less margin for bigger projects while school’s in session—both mentally and time-wise. But… there’s one story burning a hole in my pocket: a middle grade novel I’m conceptualizing as Anne of Green Gables-meets-Land of Stories. It’s one of those ideas that keeps popping up, needling me in quiet moments, begging impatiently to be put on paper. Plus, I’m really motivated to write a children’s story while my kids are still young enough to love it.
So, I’m dedicating August to getting it out of me and onto the page. I’m planning to harness the enthusiasm and accountability building around a new initiative Moms Who Write (the writing organization I help run) is launching: MamaWriMo. We’re asking participants to set their own writing-related goal for the month, tell the group, and then we’ll encourage and motivate each other through the month. To make it even better, we’re putting together a really fun “winners” bundle for anyone who reaches their goal by the end of August. If you’re a mom who writes and aren’t part of this (free!) community, consider joining us on Facebook! I’d love to write with you next month.
A day in the life…
On my nightstand: Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody
As I’m gearing up for my new novel, I’m using the “Save the Cat” story structure to help me plot it out. This is the first time I’ve used this tool, but so far I’m finding it very helpful in the planning stage. Hopefully, using it will mean less floundering in the middle of the book and fewer days where I don’t know what happens next.
On my headphones: The Alt Pop playlist on Apple Music, or (more often) nothing at all. Sometimes, they’re just for sound dampening, haha. My house is LOUD, you guys.
On my desk: FAFSA forms (groan), plotting notes, and school plans for our new homeschool year.
Excited for Ben’s and your new adventures!💕